I Was the Prodigal
“If you have faith like a grain of mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move, and nothing will be impossible for you” – Matthew 17:20 ESV.
God moved in powerful ways behind a sea of praying people during the time that I walked away from my Christian upbringing. Sometimes I get to meet faithful saints who hurt and worry about their kids who have abandoned their Christian faith. When I am building a relationship with people who are hurting, I will pray with them and also tell them “I was a prodigal once”.
Becoming a prodigal was easy for me to slip into. When God disappointed me and I loved partying, it was not hard to cut loose from the chains of disciplined living and run free to do as I pleased.
In my story, my parents got wise counsel from pastors, rallied their prayer partners and just let me go on my merry way. They chose not to preach but to rest in God. They were obedient to God’s plan, which was to eventually take down my house of cards that I was building.
They did not scold me, even though the disapproved of my life choices. I was drinking, doing drugs and sleeping around. I used all of my resources to “build my own kingdom”. All the while, I was blind (mostly) and didn’t care if it hurt others. That was on them.
Upon reflection, I became consumed with pleasing myself and had no thoughts towards God’s warnings and guidelines. Besides, God was a curmudgeon who just wanted to keep me from fun and Jesus forgives, right?
I became a self-obsessed fool and simply wasted a lot of time.
Living life like this hurts a lot of other people and eventually it collapsed. Quietly in the background, my parents choose to express love to me and gently point me to Jesus Christ and community.
My life choices turned into economic ruin and my parents offered to let me live at home, but under one condition, that I join some sort of bible study or mentorship. I choose mentorship and get counsel from a wise pastor.
What I lacked as a prodigal, was an understanding of wisdom and deeper understanding of the role of suffering, becoming more Christlike, the kingdom of God, the mystery of salvation, the lies of my flesh, my propensity to indulge my flesh, the invisible handcuffs of living life on my terms.
“God took the training wheels off”
Before learning those deeper elements, I was like a kid with dad behind riding a bike with training wheels. When I insisted to do it my way and take the training wheels off….well, who could have guessed? I scraped up my knees and was wounded.
My parents extended a lot of mercy to me, and I felt the love. The genuine love is like a warm hug of a loving parent to a kid who fell off the bike. A warm embrace, ointment on a wound, bandage around a scrape.
When it’s unclear what to do, just be quiet and show love.
In my case, love was felt and then I needed biblical wisdom. This came from many sources, some of which surprised. God does have a sense of humor and can draw on many contributing creeks to make a river leading back to him.
The holy spirit started to flex in my life, and I had some powerful experiences. Thankfully my parents were wise on when to step back and let God work. This is hard to do in general, but when you draw your focus on the power and sovereignty on God, it’s just a matter of time.
Here are some things to draw your mind on, when facing a prodigal:
God is in control, even when they appear out of control.
Seek Godly Counsel. Join a prayer group, meet with a pastor, join a small group/community group/bible study
God loves that person more than you do. Remind yourself of God’s love for your prodigal. It’s healthy to confess out loud to God your anxiety and fear. It’s usually healthy concern that is internalized. Just lay your concerns bare before the Lord. God can handle it.
Embrace the role that you have with showing Godly love to your prodigal. If you are close with the person, and they grew up in the church – they know what they are doing is wrong and they probably know your opinion. Keep your opinion to yourself and let them feel love.
The majority of the time, the situation will work out in ways that surprise you. Be ready to take a journey with surprising turns. God is a pretty good navigator, so let’s let him show us the way.
Be ready to suffer for their faith. You might lose money and endure hurt. It is all worth it when you can live in peace with the Lord and trust him for the results.
(At the time of writing this, it’s been close to 20 years. My wandering was around 1 year - 1.5 years, and that breakthrough with the Lord deepened me so much. I am grateful for the pain I caused myself and the endurance of the faithful saints who supported me in various ways through mercy, suffering, wisdom and patience).
